The return of Nics – this is a good strange. Welcome back matey.
Aman becomes a regular well kind of…
The teams were balanced well, you had Swap/Pi/Huss/Nics/Rahul versus AK/Aman/Rajesh/Romy/Mo and it was a crackerjack of a match. There was a dubious handball at 4-3 which changed the game heavily in favour of one team but a lack of referee can do this. It was a shame that the game was scarred due to this as it was an excellent game played in the right spirits.
Catch-up cards: Rahul was on his catch-up card but lost. Sachin and Vicky were no-shows and now have two catch-up cards.
Captain cards: Rajesh, Romy & Mo all successfully used their captain card for 6 points.
Leaderboard: Swappy & Rajesh are tied for 17 points and it is great seeing the two arts of football – attack & defence reigning supreme. Good stuff indeed!
Believe it or not: Mo, AK, Piyush, Chirag have only won one game this season!
Ok, let us get the easy thing out of the way. It was 12-2 and at half-time it was 2-2 and then madness ensued and chaos reigned. So, we do what any intellectual would do: AN AUTOPSY
The Luck & Mo: Seriously, is there any more hurt that can be rained upon Mo than what has transpired against him in the last few weeks. In today’s teams he was miles the best player on the pitch: tracking back, breaking play, high stamina, high pressing, finding the open man but luck intervened and deserted him on the goals front. Two catch-up cards gone, hasn’t got a win yet – more over Lochness Monster, there is a bigger mystery in town.
The Swappy Conundrum: Let us approach this using historical data: In the past 4 seasons, Swappy has never finished out of the semi-finalists positions and 83% of the time captains who pick him win. Eighty *mutha fooking* time – that is a higher percentage than a man wearing black pants on his birthday. That is in other terms, a scary skewed statistic which highlights his greatness as well as the difficulty in designing something against him. 83 percent….sleep on that folks!
The Unsung Heroes: How good are Rajesh, Chirag and Bharat – like seriously. I demand a drug test. Seriously.
The Woman at All-Star: When men behave like they have never seen a beautiful woman, you pass it as someone going through puberty or sexually deprived. Grown ass middle-aged men falling and tripping over someone shut the front door already.
The back-pass wonder goal: Distraction by the opposite sex, Sir? No, no I am not looking ok here’s a pass back. Ooops. Romy scores an own goal. Enough Said.
All-Star, Ha! The Star is The Huss: One on one against an all star is not easy. But to match him pace for pace, shoulder to shoulder then get a shot away while leaving the keeper with no choice. PRICELESS. The Huss is a legend, deny it at your own peril.
In the end, just another week of football and like always, nothing happened. Nothing At All.
A 6-1 scoreline was just that. A mauling at the hands of a superior team where each individual surpassed expectations while the other team dawdled and twiddled their thumbs. Let me offer some more clarity:
Swappy: A man of the match performance for me where I see someone releasing his shortcomings and finding a new home in a new position. He excelled in all parts of the pitch and really I am a believer. #SwapArmy4Lif3. Still hasn’t scored for four weeks but who’ counting….not me!
Sidd: I have kept over a year now along with Bharat and both of us have never ever come close to a clean sheet. He marshalled his defence superbly and with intricate saves made clean sheets an easy thing. What a player – scores goals for fun and can add a clean sheet feather in his cap too. Superb performance! Yellow card was removed as the referee was having fun.
Rachit: No one hits a football as hard as this guy. No one. Brilliant play in midfield by him and unlocked the opposition defence to ensure the second half would be a breeze. Waited for Rajesh to recover when the others were busy pretending to score on target. A touch of class from a class player.
Chirag: Is there a better defender in the game at the moment? Is there someone who blocks more shots? No, there isn’t and this man should take a bow. Unbelievable defending.
Sachin & Bharat: Quiet, under-appreciated and they get the job done. Make no mistake these two are uncomplicated and do not waste time with glory hunting. So underrated that it is borderline criminal. More of the same please!
The Huss: You want this guy on your team. Annoying, awkward and cumbersome to play against but one cannot deny his positives when he is on your team. Yes, he got three yellow cards and he is going to get someone bad at some point but this is just a matter of time before this will be phased out of his game and out will blossom a very special player. The sooner it happens, the better for the rest of us.
I have seen a lot of games for more than a year but I have never seen such a complete performance from a team. It was an absolute treat to watch them play, pity I was in the other team. Oh well, there’s always next week!
Welcome to the 2017 IPL Auctions! The new set of rules are:
Minimum of 11 players have to be bought.
Maximum of 17 players.
Minimum 3 batsmen & 3 bowlers.
All wicker-keepers are considered as batsmen.
Points will be taken from your best eleven with the condition being of course the points from your respective highest 3 batsmen & 3 bowlers.
Three players allowed from one franchise.
Four players allowed from the franchise you have bought.
Once a player has received no bids in an auction he goes directly to the second round of auctions.
Point system from the official IPLT20 game.
Each franchise team win nets you 20 points.
One trade per player before the IPL.
No restrictions at all. Transfer bowler to batsmen or bowler to all rounder, etc.
No approvals needed.
Once you have set your trade with another player just mention it before the IPL starts on April 5th in the Whats App chat.
Only condition being the 3 players per franchise rule or 4 players if you are the owner of that respective franchise.
3 transfers per player to be used anytime before all teams play 12 games.
Transfers will be between the players you have bought and the players that remained unsold.
No additional transfers will be given if your player in injured, recalled for international duty, etc.
Transfers will be given on the basis of who listed a player’s name in chat first.
Only condition being the 3 players per franchise rule or 4 players if you are the owner of that respective franchise.
New players entering the IPL will be entered into the unsold players list every Friday only at Noon. If a player is added on Monday, he will only enter the game on Noon the coming Friday.
Transfers will cost units, i.e. units left in auctions plus player sold will refund you a value to buy unsold players. Unsold players will have values going up and down depending on performances.
5 loans per player to be used before all teams play the knock-outs, i.e. all 14 games.
Loans only count for 1 game.
A player can be loaned out for batsmen-batsmen / bowler-bowler / all rounder – all rounder. The logic is that since 3 batsmen and 3 bowlers are minimum this statistic should not be skewed by interchanging disciplines.
Players must mention their loans in the Whats App chat.
Player being loaned out will have his game counted. Examples:
Raina out Pandya In. Raina has played three games and Pandya four games. Raina gets Pandya’s game 5 points for his game 3. Raina returns to the player for his game 4.
Raina out Pandya In. Raina has played three games and Pandya two games. Then Pandya’s points from game 3 will count for Raina’s game 4 points. Raina returns to the player for his game 4.
Raina out Pandya in. Both have played three games. Pandya’s points from game 3 will be Raina’s points for game 3. Raina returns to the player for his game 4.
Auction is set at 3,000 units.
Elimination Chamber is set at 500 units.
Ranches contribution is 200 units.
Minimum bid for franchises is 100 units. Closed bidding.
In case of tie, a randomizer will be used.
Invites have been sent out and you can find the link them below:
TEAM 1: Swap-Rachit-Bharat-Sidd-Chirag-Huss-Sachin
TEAM 2: AK-Rahul-Mo-Piyush-Rajesh-Vicky-Romy
The teams are in and boy oh boy, we got a controversial set-up this week. Bharat & Sidd together, Chirag & Huss versus Rajesh & Vicky defending on opposite teams and with the best player in my opinion returning, i.e. AK and Swap not having scored for three weeks and due this has all the ingredients for a Vegetarian Chicken , whatever that is!
Chirag, Huss, Mo, AK and Sachin are on double points so there is a lot to play for and with all of them being veterans, experience is gonna be huge here! My money is on the Mo as he absolutely had Swap in his pocket last game! Go Grasshoppers!!
Players to look out for:
AK – The best player returns and he will be hungry after his last season’s miss in the semi finals. Memories of traffic anyone?
Swappy – Seriously, the little genius will score this week. Surely. Right?
Mo – The midfield maestro is back and will look to add to his goal tally for the season. His nemesis Sidd is on the other side. Evil evil Piyush, muhahahaha!
Sidd: The man of the moment and with his double edged belief in himself this guy is the one to watch. Scores for fun, blocks like the wall and will be the differential. Quiet game from him could be the key to victory for the other side.
Vicky: Can he be Man of the Match a third time. Hell f00kin Yes!
Captain cards are also available for this game but not to those on the catch-up games.
An absolutely classic for the ages which left no doubt that this was a great team selection and once more gave us a little bit too much to talk about! I will now take questions from the floor:
Rachit: Abey ye sab chod, whats the result?
Romy: The game will be a draw and everyone will be awarded 1 point. The league and rules were set in place well before and a heat of the moment decision gives the game a deserved end. But overall, we will call it a draw.
Sidd: Fuck you Romy what gives you the right to do this?
Romy: I believe in Unicorns and that makes me special.
Rajesh: Is Vicky taking ability enhancing substances?
Romy: 2 goals, best defender, infinite blocks, assists and interceptions with two arguably man of the match performances. Whatever he is taking, I hope he continues to do so! Best player on the pitch these days. Full Stop.
Aman: I saw Sidd and Vicky fighting. Can you tell them to stop?
Romy: Grown men fight and hopefully these two will sort it out before one gets injured. Saying 1-1 after fouling someone is borderline petulant and one hopes a middle aged man can grow beyond these things. Saying that, fouling a keeper is also not very nice and all should try not to charge at keepers in the box!
Bharat: There was a crazy man screaming all the time! I think I have an ear block. Can you help?
Romy: Rachit was happy and this lovable care-bear was very happy yesterday. He literally screamed the first goal of the game which personally I thought was unfair as screaming at an incoming player disturbs concentration. Even when he was keeping, shouting for a ball when coming out when an attacker is coming in, puts the attacker off. This is an irrefutable fact. Screaming is fine but when you are a couple of yards away from a player is disturbing. Thankfully, Valentine’s day is over and we do not have to worry about Rachit’s screaming for another year.
Rahul: Why am I being royally screwed every week?
Romy: Last week we took his handball which he saw away when the game was 4-4 and now we take his points away from penalty. You got me here bud, apologies from my side and hopefully in the coming weeks we can do better by you.
Rachit: I don’t scream, I just have a manly voice compared to your girly voice Romy!
Romy: Be nice.
Rachit: Anyways, where did Chigu get that sexy green outfit. Green is my secret favorite color and I could not concentrate!
Romy: You can buy the outfit at all leading malls in Dubai you closet fab…Dil Dil…
Swappy: I still have not scored !
Romy: We know but you are related to Piyush so we wont say anything about you not scoring for three weeks. But we never said we wont type it!
The Huss: In the FA Cup there are replays or penalties! Why not here?
Romy: This is not the FA Cup.
Sidd: You cannot get away with this Romy, Karma will get you!
Romy: Dude you are in my life. Karma already got me.
Thanks all for reading and apologies for the confusion. This is a league make no mistake about it.
Chirag and The Huss will have their catch-up cards changed to next week due to this confusion.
Piyush dropped a bomb late last night with one of the most unorthodox team compositions ever.
Team 1: Sachin – Bharat – Swappy – Aman – Chirag – Vicky – Romy
Team 2: Bob/Sidd – Piyush – Rachit – Mo – Rahul – The Huss – Rajesh
This diabolically evil teams have so much going on – Team 1 has the dribblers, in form keeper, in form defenders and the lethal strikers in Bharat & Sachin. There is a lack of power here and the worrying form of Swappy to content with. Having Bharat gives them options in goal and attack. Swappy can play anywhere on the pitch and the trick would be to keep him away from Mo!
Team 2 has the power and boy its dynamite! Rahul, Rachit, Mo, The Huss & Piyush on their day can tear the opposition apart. There is a school of thought that their accuracy on the day will decide the game. Also, with Bob/Sidd being in goal creates a sort of haze to the final definition of this team. If Bob plays, Sidd comes in thankfully as a referee and if he does not then Sidd comes in as a goal-keeper. Leaders in this team look like Rajesh, Mo & Piyush but the tactical nous of Rahul & Rachit will also play a key role if they decide to be vocal.
The deliciousness of this team selection is so sinister that at first glance it looks like all the balance is in making a close game but look deeper and all revelations pop! Players who won the first game and divided almost equally! Oh the mind of a vegetarian – salute.
A 90 minute game will bring its own challenges – stamina management and card discipline mainly. The defenders are the ones most expected to be disciplined and a red card could be the difference here. Injuries could occur as this is the first time such a long game has been tried. Play safe and be rewarded for coming away unscathed from a 90 minute game is the ultimate trophy.
Players to watch out for:
Man of the match Vicky is the one here as his stamina and form will be looked upon in game 2.
Rahul is due a big game and could explode for a few goals.
Rajesh for his on-field captaincy.
Mo for absolutely owning Swap in the finals is back and will be rubbing his hands with glee for a second bite at Swappy.
The cracker will be lit tomorrow so do not be late!
There was a storm at All Star Sport and it was called The First Game of Season 5. Not to beat around the bush but this game could have been won by any-side.
Sachin-Swappy-Piyush-Rachit-Vicky-Romy = 3 Points
Bharat-Rajesh-Rahul-AK-Abhi = 1 Point
Sidd = 1 Yellow Card = 0 Points
Highlights of Game 1
Sidd went down with a twisted ankle and sat out the game almost getting three points. In the short time he played, he picked up a yellow card for being over-friendly with Rachit.
Bharat was picked on by Sidd and it finally dawned on Bharat what we all at football knew – Sidd wanted a sister…
Vicky is an action packed defender who pretty much helped his team break-up play and block shots like a man possessed. Man of the match for me!
Rachit is the best man to have your team when a season starts. He has now won every game he has played the first time in each season. He had goals, assists, interceptions and blocked shots in one game!
Controversy: The hand-ball at 5-5 from Vicky which I personally thought came off Abhi. Rahul & Abhi had a valid point here and it makes the case for a referee as the game is so fast that sometimes in the moment different opinions can sour the moment. The way Rahul & Abhi handled it was all class and appreciated very much.
Piyush settled another game with the final goal of the match. Sachin’s defending is the second half is the most under-rated thing in football as he broke up play three times in the oppositions half and had two blinding assists!
Swappy man-marking AK was a feather in Swap’s cap and helped his team win. Good stuff!